Sunday, 25 October 2015

As I said...

... things can change so quickly. I lost my love to manic depression. Runs in his family. He has turned against me and wants nothing to do with me. Outlooks are bleak and I don't think he will get help and come back to me. It feels so unreal, absurd and confusing.
The jobsituation has changed too. I still have my job but a new CEO has been brought in and my working conditions and opportunities for the future are now much different. My co-worker is not being nice to me.

Life goes up and down. I really did cherish what I had when I had it. At least I got that one year with my love and I am still thankful that I got that job after all those months without.

It is not all bad news though. In April this year I bought a lovely little allotment on the outskirts of Copenhagen. It is more like a small summerhouse really, with electricity, running water, toilet etc. There is a bedroom and kitchen so many times during the summer I have stayed there for some days. My sanctuary. A place of peace and quiet in an increasingly mad world. As I live in a flat on the 3rd floor it is heavenly to be able to go there and step out on my own lawn and sit with my coffee, listening to the silence and the birds. Being able to wear sandals without worrying about anyone seing the compression stocking and the toecap. I am already looking forward to spring and summer so I can go there again. It is six months away though.

I am sorry it's been so long. I haven't had so much to write about, at least not reg. Lymphedema. My leg is the same, big. Earlier this year I got two new JoviPaks to use at night. They do a good job and my leg is soft when I wake in the morning but it hasn't really made my leg any smaller. Oh well, at least it keeps the tissue from growing hard etc. I had a MLD a few weeks ago and my therapist was impressed, she thought my leg looked and felt very well managed. I am seeing my fitter soon, maybe he has some new ideas reg. nightgarment.


4 comments:

  1. My lymphedema is in my arm, a parting gift of breast cancer. I wear long sleeves all year round, but the glove can still be seen. Most of the people that I work with are used to it. They know what it is. Every once in a while someone will ask about it.I hate trying to explain. Most people don't think much about how the lymphatic works. They are appalled when I tell them that it can't be "fixed", this is just how it is and that the stockings are the treatment. Your summer home looks lovely. I'm glad you have somewhere to go to find peace. As for the rest of it, like you said, things change. They can get worse, but they get better too. Hoping that things will turn around for you soon.

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  2. Sorry to hear about the relationship. Mental illness is terrible, I have a friend who SHOULD be out of a relationship that's also being sabotaged by it. (Again, the guy won't get help and yes, it's probably the same manic depression/bipolar). But, as you say, you have a nice little haven now that's all yours and that's a big comfort in a crazy world. And you do still have a job.

    I don't think the toecaps look that obvious, maybe you could wear sandals elsewhere as well? So many people wear sports braces etc, that's what it looks like. So your stocking is black?

    Best wishes and it's great to hear from you again,you've been missed.

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  3. Oh Liz, I'm really sorry to hear your news. It's been years since I was in a relationship but I still remember very clearly the devastation of it ending. And in your case for such a reason... gah, there's nothing to be said really is there, except to send you virtual hugs.
    Your summerhouse looks lovely though. Glad you have a safe haven.

    My leg is quite big at the moment too. I've also put on quite a lot of weight in the last 2 years so I am trying to concentrate on getting rid of that. Unfortunately the increased exercise I choose to do doesn't suit my leg, but I've decided to concentrate on the weight for the time being and let the leg look after itself a bit. I do have a new circaid though and although I don't think the compression is as good as bandaging, it's much more convenient, so I use it more often.
    Anyway, take care of yourself.
    Hutch

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  4. Came across your blog. Would love to chat. Can you email me? jrolstad@webwocnurse.com

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