It is the last day of the year and I would like to wish you all a happy and joyful New Year.
I hope I too will have a good new year. The old one has not been so good. It started – after a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Eve and what seemed like a bright future – with deceat, breaking up and breaking down. A breakdown I still ain't done with. Everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same again.
A breakdown may be a new beginning. An opportunity to build oneself up again. Each individual have the responsibility to pull oneself out of the darkness. Making a decision of ending the selfpity and stop wasting time. Dry ones eyes and stop being a victim.
There is a time for everything though. A time to grieve. A time to be bitter. A time to potter around in the darkness. A time to move upward again. Timing is everything. Being ready. Maybe one should from time to time check whether one is now ready to make the change that one needs and then act, if ready. Otherwise one might not get up. If one is not ready, it is no use.
It has been a year when the consequenses of having Lymphedema fully dawned on me. It has been a spring with six weeks of continuous bandaging with fatal consequences. A summer of shame and grief over my ugly leg in my fleshcolored supportstocking. A year of hybernating.
Some good things happended too though. I started this blog, and although I haven't got tons of readers I don't regret starting it, and perhaps over time more readers will come and share knowledge. Must give it time. I am grateful for the comments and emails I have recieved, and for my followers. Thank you.
It has also been positive to get away from the hospital and their "treatment" and it has been a joy to find my amazing, competent and caring physical therapist who takes such good care of me. I am so grateful. I often think of the innocent people who still frequents the hospital where I used to go. I wish that they too had escaped and gotten/taken the opportunity of professional and competent treatment with manual drainage, proper bandaging and measurements, etc.
My recent trip to Asia was also a good thing, and it did me good. Also my good friend's visit and our trip to Stockholm I cherish.
Despite all my moaning I am grateful for what I have. My loving parents. My home. Food in my belly, a bed to sleep in, healthinsurance. My travels. My Qi Gong teacher. My good friend. My little nieces and nephew. My new coffeemaker.
For the first time ever I am spending New Years Eve alone. Feels a bit surreal, but I think it is going to be fine.
I wish you all a happy New Year, filled with joy, love and good times.