Friday, 31 December 2010

Happy New Year!

It is the last day of the year and I would like to wish you all a happy and joyful New Year.

I hope I too will have a good new year. The old one has not been so good. It started – after a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Eve and what seemed like a bright future – with deceat, breaking up and breaking down. A breakdown I still ain't done with. Everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same again.

A breakdown may be a new beginning. An opportunity to build oneself up again. Each individual have the responsibility to pull oneself out of the darkness. Making a decision of ending the selfpity and stop wasting time. Dry ones eyes and stop being a victim.

There is a time for everything though. A time to grieve. A time to be bitter. A time to potter around in the darkness. A time to move upward again. Timing is everything. Being ready. Maybe one should from time to time check whether one is now ready to make the change that one needs and then act, if ready. Otherwise one might not get up. If one is not ready, it is no use.

It has been a year when the consequenses of having Lymphedema fully dawned on me. It has been a spring with six weeks of continuous bandaging with fatal consequences. A summer of shame and grief over my ugly leg in my fleshcolored supportstocking. A year of hybernating.

Some good things happended too though. I started this blog, and although I haven't got tons of readers I don't regret starting it, and perhaps over time more readers will come and share knowledge. Must give it time. I am grateful for the comments and emails I have recieved, and for my followers. Thank you.

It has also been positive to get away from the hospital and their "treatment" and it has been a joy to find my amazing, competent and caring physical therapist who takes such good care of me. I am so grateful. I often think of the innocent people who still frequents the hospital where I used to go. I wish that they too had escaped and gotten/taken the opportunity of professional and competent treatment with manual drainage, proper bandaging and measurements, etc.

My recent trip to Asia was also a good thing, and it did me good. Also my good friend's visit and our trip to Stockholm I cherish.

Despite all my moaning I am grateful for what I have. My loving parents. My home. Food in my belly, a bed to sleep in, healthinsurance. My travels. My Qi Gong teacher. My good friend. My little nieces and nephew. My new coffeemaker.

For the first time ever I am spending New Years Eve alone. Feels a bit surreal, but I think it is going to be fine.

I wish you all a happy New Year, filled with joy, love and good times.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Under pressure

I need your help! It really hurts on the one of my two sensitive spots now, I have marked it on the picture above (not my foot, a photo I snatched somewhere). I am off work today and indoor because of snowstorm, so no shoes on. I have to wear the stocking and toecap, but it hurts – what to do? Anyone out there had the same problem?

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Happy Christmas!

My leg is doing better, it had expanded a little on the trip, but the cooler temperatures and to be home following my usual routines has brought it down to close to what it was before the trip. I've been to the Physiotherapist three times since my return, the two of which I got bandaged and I have also wrapped the leg myself a couple of times. Some days I put a light bandage on the outside of the stocking on the lower leg, that works really well on me.

My foot hasn't been all that great lately, it gets squashed in the shoe, and the cold somehow makes it worse. Yesterday I had pain on one of my sensitive spots, which was even turning a little blue-ish when I took the stocking off at the Physio's. At that time I had been standing in the cold waiting for a bus for 35 minutes though. My shoes are quite good apart from now being too small for the lymphedema foot, they are hiking-style Salomon's, and it is the only shoes I can actually wear now with winter, but I hope I can find some new and better at the upcoming sale, some with room for my toes. Will probably have to buy two pairs in two different sizes, but that's life. As much as I no longer enjoy shopping I really do have to find something, shoes as well as clothes.

The weather is crazy here, this morning it was -17°C where I work, arghh! Almost too cold to handle. A place not so far from here it was -22,5° – hasn't been that cold since 1981! Really beautyful with the snow though, like a fairytailland.

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

New Easy-Slide

Yesterday I recieved my new Easy-Slide and it's really good. The compression stocking came on like never before this morning. I'm not sure if it is made of a different material than the old one or if it is because it is new and not worn. Probably the latter. The size (L) is better than the old (M). I bought it at, and there was no taxes added on its way to Europe from America. 
It seems an Easy-Slide lasts around eighteen months. Perhaps it pays to buy a few at a time, postage is probably the same.

I've got this song in my head at the moment and I listen to it all the time. In cafes and restaurants in Thailand they would often play compilations from the 70ties, including this song. I think it is very special, she sings it so passionately, and the lyrics are very meaningful.

Update on dateballs: Go easy on the pepper..!

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Date balls

Yesterday I finally managed to get out and get some Udo's Choise for my juice. It's good to be juicing again and now I can complete it with the oil. I also got some big, beautiful pomegranates, they provide a nice flavor and a silky smooth and delicious texture to the juice. I think I might freeze some for smooties and salads later. It's supposively one of the healthiest things one can offer the body so I am stocking up now that they are available and in season.

Today I made my delicious – and healthy date balls. They are fairly Chrismassy, but I make them throughout the year. It has been a while since I last made them, but now I finally have some dates and almonds, and I had the time. Here comes the recipe:

Healthy, yummi date balls 

Equal parts of dates (dried) and almonds (with skin) – though perhaps a little more dates 
Spices – I use white pepper, cardamom, cinnamon and cloves, all ground 
Cocoa powder 
A little bit of water or orange juice (very little)

the almonds in a food processor or electric mini-chopper. Add the rest of the ingredients and taste as you go. The mixture should be of a consistency so you can roll balls. These can be tossed in finely chopped almonds or eaten as they are. Store in cool place. Yum!
Instead of dates only you can use a mixt of apricots, raisins, almonds etc. You can also use other nuts than almonds.


Thursday and Friday I went to the physio. My therapist thought my leg looked OK, all things considered. She wrapped it and told me to wrap the lower leg at night myself and also do some exercises. I hope we will soon get the leg back to the fine state it was in before the trip, I think we will.
I have started using the lymphedemapump a little again, it has been collecting dust for a long time (see here why), but before the trip I learned how to do selvdrainage, so now I feel OK using it and I need its help. I have previously had it on about 90 but my therapist told me to turn it down to 40-50, so that I do.

Friday, 10 December 2010

Dry skin etc.

The other day I ordered a new Easy-Slide (aid to put on the compressionstocking) from Before my Thailand-Laos trip, I managed to fix the broken loop of the old one, but already on one of the first days out there the loop simply came off. I could just use the tattered remains, but had brought one of the little slides that comes with the compressionstocking from Medi, and so I've mostly used that, as it was too much hassle with the broken one. I have ordered a size large because I feel the old one probably should have been a tiny bit bigger, that was medium and I use/used size 38-39 in shoes.

The skin on my legs is really dry, I noticed the other night, so the lymphleg got a good glug of Decubal, the greasy – and smelly – cream I sometimes use. I am going to get some oil soon to mix with my juice soon, I ran out shortly before the trip, so it's been a while now, and thus no wonder the skin is dry, especially now with very dry air from heaters, etc. I like to use the Udo's Choise as it supposively is the perfect mix of Omega 3, 6 and 9.

Saturday I went to a Christmas outing with the Qi Gong team, and it was really pleasant. They are good people and I'm happy to have joined the team. On my trip I didn't find the peace and opportunities to practice as much as I had hoped, but I managed to most days do 7-10 minutes standing, and a couple of times the Ba Duan Jin exercises.

On the journey I sometimes used a cast protector I got from the pharmacy, it's just at thin plastic one and it has been leaking a little, but I found that putting a small rubbishbag on the foot first, with a rubber band to keep it in place, and then the cast protector – sometimes with a small towel around the lining of the stocking, inside the protector. It's good to have the option of a shower at other times than getting up and going to bed, espcially in a hot and humid climate.

The four weeks was not quite enough to give me the peace and the feeling of really being away, sitting somewhere else looking at my life at home, a feeling I have experienced in my longer trips years ago. However, it has still been good to be away and have a break from my life at home, I needed it too. Imagine needing a break from ones life, something's wrong then. And there is, obviously.