Sunday, 15 August 2010

The first year

It must be around this time last year that I, after diagnosis and treatment, got my first compression stocking. Imagine that a year has passed... I have of course worn the stocking every day since, but it is as if it is only the last six months or so that it has really hit me. I think much more about it now, I worry and feel sad. Perhaps because of the season. When I started it was no longer time for sandals etc. anyway and therefore natural to wear long pants and closed shoes, so this summer was the first. It is often seen that when people loose someone they have loved for a long time they grieve for a year. The sorrow and longing will of course always be there, but it is the special days, the seasons, the traditions one has to go through for the first time without the other that is extra hard. The first Christmas. The first Birthday. The first summer holiday etc. Perhaps it's a little like that with chronic illness. The first year is the hardest. Then one has experienced the various situations. I still grieve, so my year is probably not gone yet. I don't know if I am strong enough to ever being able to handle this.

2 comments:

  1. I am new to posting,so i hope i do this right.I think you are sooo!! brave!! Im 47,lymphedema in left leg.This week will be 1yr now,and yes we do grieve! I haven't been out of my house now for 6wks,the depression is so hard to battle.Ive not worn shoes in over a year,not been able to shop for clothes,i could go on and on..but don't want to have a pitty party.from what youv'e shared we are going through much the same things. I have a hard time walking,the pain and swelling are unbareble,how do you do it? If i stand any longer than 15min. im hanging on to the walls! The deformity in my foot has gotten so bad that even the slippers i wear sometimes don't fit.The 2 different size shoes is a very good idea,thank you.I had revision surgery last year because the rods in my back broke.The vasular surgeon accidently ripped my iliac vein in stomach causing massive DVT's,end result -lyphedema.Not 1 dr.wanted to tell me about lyphedema? it wasn't till i went for P.T. that i was told this is for the rest of my life! really hard to wrap my brain around all of this,my life as i knew it is no more...thank you again for sharing!!

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    1. Hi there, thank you for posting :-) Also thank your for saying I'm brave. I don't know about that though.
      Yes, getting Lymphedema and learning to live with it is a journey and I understand you are grieving. Allow yourself to grieve, something horrible have happened to you. I have had my Lymphedema for about three years now (OMG - three years!!!) and for me I think things started turning after a year or so. I still have issues with it but it is much different now. It does sound like your situation is more severe than mine though and that you might still be in the process of finding the right treatment etc. I am so sorry to hear you have so much pain and that your haven't left your house for many weeks. I'm sorry if it sounds tacky but my heart really does go out to you. So far I haven't had pain from Lymphedema - touch wood! I wonder if you wear a compression stocking and get wrapped at the therapist? I could not do without my stocking, I put it on first thing in the morning and take it off last thing before bed. Even a few minutes without it causes the fluid to build up. Also the wrapping has been and still is very, very effective.
      Yes, shoes in different sizes is something that I am going to do much more now. I have hestitated but it really is the thing to do. I'd like a pair of Converse.
      Have hope, have faith, have patience! You will learn to manage this! Better days are ahead!
      Warm regards

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